FERNGULLY IN THE HOUSE...or not

So we ventured out today to find a movie theatre in NY that was showing Avatar in 3D. Can I just preface this by saying the following: I was not initially sold on Avatar, and I didn't stop to think that 3 hours of 3D vision was going to give me a blinding headache. Anyway, as the movie begins it seems interesting enough; humans are invading an alien planet, trying to extract valuable natural resources, etc etc. As the movie progressed I kept having this feeling that I had seen it before. But where? Pocahontas? Dances with Wolves? The Matrix? No. Go back. Way back...to 1992.

"My Name is Batty", also known as "Batty's Rap" as performed by Robin Williams in the movie FernGully immediately came to mind. I don't want to give it away to those of you who did not have the pleasure of growing up watching the movie, but lets just say that FernGully was one of the movies that brought environmental issues to the forefront of children's lives. FernGully touched me and taught me that you don't lab test bats with electrodes, amongst other things. Like...the rainforest is filled with magical fairies. I don't know where I am going with this. Oh, I remember.

Avatar totally ripped off ferngully... and a miriad of other films. except the whole tail angle...I've really never seen anything like that before. If you don't know what I'm talking about...don't worry about it. "I see you."

Coincidentally, earlier today Joanna brought up the topic of copyright laws. If I were the creators of FernGully I would be really pissed that someone of James Cameron's caliber would rip off my movie. That is all I'm saying.

GoDaddy.com and Other Thoughts

So I spent the day with Ms Joanna Younger aka the baddest MOFO on either side of the equator. Case and point: she is the only one who reads my blog regularly. This one is going out to her.

The day has been filled with pedicures, Indian food and the most amazing television ever. Such MTV programming gems include: "Teen Moms" and "Real World DC". Let us discuss Teen Moms. Just FYI Joao just fell asleep while I am typing this sentence with the mac propped on his legs, but I know if he were awake he would be intently discussing these shows with me whilst I type. My theory on Joao's fascination with crappy reality programming is that he never had it in Portugal and thus, the fascination. But his viewership is not like mine; Joao watches it all with a type of detached ponderousness (is that a word?). It is as if he is thinking, "Do I believe these shows are a real representation of America?" I try to explain to Joao that these shows MUST be scripted but he remains diplomatic in his observations. What Joao has made me realize is the following: Whether or not these shows are scripted is just not important. What is important is that they provide TV-watchers with the opportunity to reflect on our own lives and the type of people we are and would like to be. Don't laugh, I am serious! Why am I so deeply touched by the stories on Teen Moms? I think it is because I honestly, truly, do not think I could survive what these individuals have gone through. Watching reality television helps me put my life in check: because if these people can make it work, we all can.

Okay, Teen Moms:
Straight up, the most disturbing, saddening program I have ever witnessed. What really drove me over the edge was the couple that was fighting because the morbidly obese boyfriend purchased a Nintendo or some such gaming device for $500 and his pregnant gf got angry with him for wasting money. He said he worked hard and should be able to buy whatever he wanted and she continued to state that he wasn't properly preparing for the impending birth of their child. So the young man returns the Nintendo at WalMart and proceeds to the WalMart jewelry counter, where he purchases a $20 ring which he is going to use to propose to his girlfriend. The WalMart sales associate referred to the ring as "bling". As we have progressed in the season, the couple's relationship has deteriorated since the birth of the child. The mother is frustrated because she is trying to get her GED and feels as if she never gets to leave the house and he is frustrated because he has to work and she doesn't clean the house.
In conclusion, this show will most likely make you consider the option of having your tubes tied, and it will most certainly make you think before you complain about how frustrating your life is.

On to Real World:
I havn't watched Real World since Seattle. Seattle was the bomb; does anyone remember Irene who had the tick disease or Lymes or whatever and when Stephen slapped her? Anyway, because we were watching Teen Mom we decided to watch RW as well. All I can tell you is that it has nothing on Jersey Shore, which is quite possibly the greatest creation ever. I refer to Jersey Shore as a "creation" because it is clearly the result of a benevolent genius. Do you think Snooki just inherently knew how to bring home a hot "guido" who would projectile vomit all over? Did J-Woww just happen to pick out outfits that only a cracked out prostitute could love? Clearly someone explained to these individuals that they would be well-compensated for being walking, talking hot messes.
In closing, I would like to refer to a quote from Mike, "The Situation", who has taken the country, and no doubt soon the world, by storm. "If you don't love The Situation, I am gonna make you love The Situation." I mean that is really all there is to say. I literally laugh out loud when I think about this show.

P.S.- What the hell is GoDaddy.com? Doesn't anyone else find the commercials strange? Is Danica Patrick or whatever her name is hitting on the other girl in the commercial? And if so, how is this relevant to GoDaddy? What, exactly, is GoDaddy? Do you buy website names from them? If so, why are there lesbians in the commercial? I don't know guys, I feel like I'm out on a limb here.

And also: has anyone seen the new Dominos commercials? I don't exactly know if it is Dominos or Pappa Johns or Donatos but when I lived in Ohio I think my pizza palette was much more refined and I would have been able to differentiate between the brands but I digress. Anyway, they claim they have "re-done" their pizza based on consumer opinions and have added a better sauce with more herbs and better cheese, etc etc. You can now purchase two pizzas for $5.99 each. If I didn't have IBS I would totally be all over this. So, friends, if you have a stomach that can tolerate such risky dining ventures, go grab two pizzas from Dominos (I think?) and report back on what you think, because I truly wonder if their pizza is any different or if it is just a marketing ploy. Smart, those pizza people...

That's all for now.
Kgreatthanksloveyoubye

Extractors. Friend or foe?

So I bought this little tool at Sephora against the advice of my aesthetician. As we have all heard since puberty, you are not supposed to pick blemishes for fear it could cause a scar. I have always been of the school of thought that if I exfoliate and it still doesn't go away, I am going to take matters in to my own hands. I mean you can't just walk around with a blemish, right? And if you are like me and have suffered from severe cystic acne, you will know what I mean when I say that sometimes blemishes are truly truly painful and the only way to alleviate this pain is to excoriate it.

Now, my aesthetician always said that if I just HAD to pick my face I should make sure my pores were open (after the shower) and that my hands were clean and to try to use q-tips. Okay no. Sometimes you just want to stab it with a sharp objects, a la the stainless steel extractor above.

I use mine quite frequently and especially enjoy it for blackheads. Is this too much information? Anyway, it really does help and it doesn't seem as though I have permanently scarred my skin by using it. However, I try to use the extractor end as opposed to the lanced end because quite frankly it just scares me. I have found that If you use the lance to poke your face it will often result in bleeding and then it just hurts more when you excoriate.

Anyway, I just wanted to hear people's thoughts on the topic. Please discuss!!
kgreatthanksloveyoubye
LA

Steven Tyler = hot mess. no...just mess.

Okay if you don't know what is going on with Steven Tyler these days (I'm sure you don't bc I didn't and didn't really care...) please visit the following link http://www.dlisted.com/node/34909

Okay so last week I was at an Indian restaurant on the Upper West Side when Mr. Tyler walked in. Okay first I looked at him and thought, wow that guy is a mess and looks sort of like Steven Tyler. Then I thought, Actually, that looks just like Steven Tyler. 

First of all, his entourage was um, for lack of a better word, interesting. There was an old man with him who looked like a Harley owner from Wyoming, complete with bushy beard and bug serial-killeresque glasses. Then there were some "punk" or "rock" girls with him (I don't know how to describe them but you know what I mean. They had like black "spunky" hair and tattoos, etc. 

Moving on, we thought Mr. Tyler would try to not draw attention to himself. However, immediately after being seated he got up with his murse (manpurse, satchel, whatev you want to call it) and went to the bathroom...for approximately 20 minutes. Then he comes out and starts taking pictures of his entourage and saying loudly that he can't figure out the flash. 

But it gets better.

In between his little bathroom trips (they were numerous) he decided to speak to the host in Hindi...I think. He just kept shouting the same word at him. I think he was trying to say "bathroom" in Hindi? I don't know but it was really weird and he was laughing like it was funny. 

So my conclusion is...either he is really weird or he is on some type of special sauce. 

New York

I know everyone loves New York, okay. I get it. It can be really exciting and fun, there is fab shopping, etc etc. However, there are those of us living in New York that often find it rather... tedious. Like, the dog barking next door that just WONT SHUT THE HELL UP or the crazy homeless man on the bus who just stares at you like you are a ripe juicy apple he wants to eat. Not to mention the fact that wherever you go you get pushed and shoved and stared at like some sort of freak. Furthermore, it is dirty. There is no denying that fact. The smell of urine to be is immediately associated with the 6 train. I just make that mental connection. 

Sometimes you just want to get in a car and drive. To the grocery, to the gym, to Saks, whatever. I want to blast B Spears and scream my lungs out to PIECE OF ME. Then again, I could probably do that walking down the street in NY and people would just think I was normal. 

Please share special New York stories, whether they be joyous or terror-filled. 

As I always say, "Kgreatthanksloveyoubye"

I don't really understand why everyone has blogs but what the hell!

So I don't really understand why people have blogs...like who cares what random people think right? Totally. However, I feel the need to share my thoughts with my friends so that we can discuss. 

First topic: 

Lilly Pulitzer's Resort Line. See link. Thoughts? Please share. I just...can't comment on this. 

http://www.lillypulitzer.com/Dresses/Felicia-Dress-Printed/invt/73146